It’s 6pm. I’m going running soon, but it’s downright miserable outside right now. It’s 104 degrees. I could wait an hour, but I don’t know that it’ll be any cooler then. Perhaps one degree? I know the run will do me some good, but I really don’t want to be out there! Whose idea was it to sign up for an August race anyway? Mine? Yeah, it was mine. Off I go…

On June 22, 2008, Jeanie, Erin, Robin, Malinda and I were racing Coeur d’Alene. We exchanged some pretty sweet anniversary emails today. I love those girls. I’m thankful for them and the experience we shared.

I celebrated the anniversary today with a tough spin class followed by a treadmill run. I pushed hard on both and felt strong. It was the perfect start to my day – the perfect re-commitment to my training and start of my training week. This time around, I don’t have my Iron buddies or my running partners. I don’t have my personal trainer or my pre-made program from my tri-group. This time around, the race is almost entirely about me and the course. I need success this time around. Last time I think I wanted it. This time, I need it.

I was just watching the live feed from Coeur d’Alene. Some folks are finishing up at the ten hour mark. My friend Erin seems to be doing very well. She’s off the bike and onto the run course. Once her first split registers on the run, I’ll have a better sense as to her total time and when I should be watching the live feed to see her finish. I’m so excited for her.

I remember so well that feeling of elation crossing that finish line at 11:30 at night. It was the purest of joys. I had never felt anything like it. Now, a year later, I miss it. My confidence today isn’t what it was that day and in the weeks and months that followed. My hope and my energy aren’t quite the same either. I’ve been struggling a bit, not just with training but with life in general. I’ve had some disappointments, and some of my dearest friends are struggling with some disappointments. It’s disheartening. It’s easy to lose sight of how lucky I am – how lucky we are – when there’s a black cloud in the picture. That life struggle makes the training seem harder. It’s time to find my way out of that.

The way out is through renewed commitment and regularity. The plan this week:

Monday: Spin (am), Treadmill run (am), Yoga (pm)
Tuesday: Swim (am)
Wednesday: Swim (am), Spin (am)
Thursday: Run (am)
Friday: Swim (am), Spin (am) – Optional OFF
Saturday: Run (pm)
Sunday: Ride(am), Run (am)

The yoga class on Monday isn’t ideal, but that’s the only night I can make that work this week. I may skip it. We’ll see how I feel tomorrow.