St. George is one month from today…and I may not go.

For about three weeks now, I’ve been considering bailing on this race.  It’s strange to write that.  I don’t bail.  Normally, I don’t bail.  So why bail now?

I just don’t feel ready.  I’ve been great about running, as I’ve done two marathons this year.  I’ve been good about swimming, as I’ve joined T3’s swim program and been a bit more regular about being in the water.  But I don’t feel like I’ve spent enough time on my bike.  I’ve done a whole lot of trainer riding, but my time on the road has been limited.  I should have done an 80 or 100 mile ride by now, but I haven’t.  That’s all on me.  I just don’t feel ready, especially for a tough course like St. George.

I also am not enjoying the training right now.  When I was training for Coeur d’Alene and even Canada to some degree, I was popping out of bed at 4:50 and making my workouts.  Now I struggle to get out of bed at 5:15 to make a swim session.  I even struggle to get up by 6:30 or 7:00 on the days I don’t swim.  That’s not like me.  I’m used to being driven by and engaged in the schedule.  Right now, the schedule feels onerous.

I wonder – has my training suffered because I’m not having fun?  Or am I not having fun because I haven’t been diligent about training?  I’m not sure.

I’m thinking the right thing for me is to skip St. George and focus on Canada.  I know what to expect with Canada because I’ve driven the course.  I know the town.  I know our hotel.  It’s familiary territory, so it’s less stressful.  St. George is not familiar territory. It’s stressful.

I hate to be a quitter.  I missed Canada last year because of stupid gallbladder surgery.  That was hard.  I cried often about that loss.  Now I’m considering voluntarily pulling out of a race because I haven’t done all that I needed to do to be ready.  This, in some ways, feels like a bigger blow. I’ve got a list of excuses but, at the end of the day, they are excuses and it comes down to just not having put in the time I needed to have put in to have confidence about the race.  I think I just answered my own question.  I’m not having fun because I haven’t been diligent about training.

I’ll make this decision in the next few days.  Right now, I’m going to sleep on it.

One thought on “St. George is one month from today…and I may not go.

  1. I’m headed to St. George with 29 other racers from Pasadena! I’ve been in freak out mode with 31 days left. I’ve been having trouble getting out of bed too. Just enjoy your swim, your bike and your run. Live up to your expectations. Don’t let them get you down though. One stroke at a time. One pedal at a time. One step at a time. Cheers! Nice blog! Joe.

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