If things had gone as planned, I would have been getting on a plane tomorrow morning to head to St. George for my second Ironman. If things had gone as planned. I’ve said those words a lot lately. If things had gone as planned, I would have spent new years in Hong Kong. If things had gone as planned, I would have done Canada last year. If things had gone as planned, I would have done Florida 70.3 last year. If things had gone as planned, I wouldn’t have experienced many of the changes of the last twelve months. If things had gone as planned…
I’ve always been a planner. I like having big goals for myself. I need deadlines. But lately, I’m finding that those goals and deadlines haven’t been enriching my life; they’ve been draining it. The pressure of constant training has been just that – pressure. As a result, I’ve been living less rigidly. I’ve given myself something of a break, and I’ve tried to just be more. And it has been working out. So although I’m sad to miss St. George and the chance to do a second race with Chris and a first race with Judy, I’m thankful to be home tonight, and I’m thankful not to be getting on a plane tomorrow.
I’m barely even looking at my calendar these days. The calendar doesn’t feel like the right guide. Instead, I’m getting up each morning and making one decision at a time. Lots of times, the day presents itself unexpectedly. Maybe this process of weaning myself off my planning has been a preparation of sorts. I’m leaving room for the unexpected. Sometimes the unexpected is welcomed. Sometimes its an intruder. Either way, I think I’m more prepared for it because I’m less planned. For that, I am grateful.