I’ve been giving thought to the question of whether it’s better to be married or alone. I have dear friends who are dealing with divorces – painful ones. I have heartache now and again, but I suspect my heartache barely scrapes the surface of the suffering involved in ending a ten-year marriage or having to continue to deal somewhat intimately with an ex because of children. If someone is going to leave me, I’d rather they leave me six months, a year or even two years into the relationship than five, seven or ten years into a marriage.
I believe marriages can work. I believe I am capable of making a marriage work. But the success of any relationship depends on the commitment level of both people. Both people have to decide they are in the relationship no matter what. If they don’t, it will fail eventually.
The older I get, the less confident I am that I will find someone just right for me. I have moments of wanting to throw in the towel and just accept that I will be alone. It’s possible that I will be alone, and if that happens, I will be okay. But I don’t want to become someone who doesn’t hope. I want to continue to hope and dream about finding someone who will share my commitment and accept me, flaws and all, 100 percent.
So today I’ve been daydreaming a bit. What do I want in another person? I thought it might be a long list, but it turns out that my list is rather short.
I’m looking for someone who:
- Is smart.
- Is hardworking.
- Is funny.
- Loves to laugh.
- Believes in family.
- Believes in being active.
- Loves to travel.
- Loves being at home.
- Will talk to me right away about anything I say or do that might be hurtful or damaging.
- Will say, “I forgive you” as quickly as I’m willing to say, “I’m sorry.”
- Will say, “I’m sorry” as quickly as I’m willing to say, “I forgive you.”
- Will not say, “I love you” until it means, “I will always love you, even when doing so might be hard.”
- Will not say, “I want to marry you” until it means, “I will never leave you.”
- Believes that life will always be better with me in it.
That’s what I’m offering. That’s what I want. I may be getting older, but who knows? I might still find it.