On Wednesday night, after a lovely mental health day, I went to a book club gathering of some really great girls. (It’s not relevant to this posting, but we discussed The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh, which I inhaled in one sitting.) During the meeting, one of the girls mentioned that the word “shift” was on her vision board for the year. That word has stayed with me. I think things are shifting for me somehow.
I’m experiencing a tremendous shift in my triathlon training because I’m improving. About a month ago, I noted some significant improvement. Last week, I retested the swim and the run and again noted big improvement. My 10K time in early March was 30 minutes and 13 seconds. Last week, it was 29 minutes and 10 seconds, which I did a couple of hours after running the Capital 10K last weekend. I love that I improved so much even though my legs were not fresh. Also, my 800 meter swim time improved from 15 minutes and 50 seconds to 15 minutes and 27 seconds. (On a side note, my friend Jamie posted an 18 minute 36 second time for a 1600 meter swim. Admittedly that burst my bubble a bit, but I let it go – sort of – because he is a pro triathlete and a really nice guy.) I’m thrilled with how my training is going. I’ve always been one to say that I do triathlon for fun, but I’m becoming someone who really cares about speed. My coach told me today that I’m becoming a “bad ass triathlete.” Me, a bad ass triathlete? Physicality aside, that’s an entirely new mindset for me.
That’s not the only way my inner self is changing. About six months ago, I simplified my schedule quite a lot and made a conscious effort to focus on work, writing, training and people, not necessarily in that order. I’ve been doing that pretty well, and I’ve gotten better about guarding my time. I’m leaving events when I need to so that I can get home reasonably and get up early the next day. I’m not returning calls and spending every minute of my time in the car on the phone. Instead, I’m driving in silence or listening to the radio, depending on what’s on my mind. Last weekend, I even spent an entire day at home. I exercised, read, cleaned, did laundry and just enjoyed being in my space with my children, and I didn’t feel guilty about going from pajamas to workout clothes to pajamas and passing up a number of invitations. I’m making decisions that are good for me. I like the person I can feel myself becoming.
It feels like I’m making room in my life for…something. I don’t know if that’s a person, a job, an experience, or what. But I feel like something is on its way. Sometime in my life is about to shift.