On Monday, I spent part of the Labor Day holiday at the pool. I needed to do a timed 800-meter swim, so I got myself to the pool at Lifetime Fitness south early in the morning. In the locker room, I pulled my cap and goggles out of the side zipper of my gym bag. I noticed that I had inadvertently grabbed two pairs of goggles – the one I’d been swimming with for years and the one I bought before Coeur d’Alene to have as a back up in case my goggles broke at the race. This is what they looked like:
For the first time, I noticed how dingy the old ones looked. There are discolored and marred with bits of black in the frames around the eyes. They work just fine, but I decided to give the new pair a try for the swim.
I couldn’t believe how clear the water looked through the new pair. It felt like I had expanded vision. I could see in front of me and all around me. I didn’t feel a barrier between me and the water. I just felt in it, with nothing in my way. It felt amazing.
It also made me think about looking at the world through fresh eyes. I’ve had my heart broken in the last year, and that’s colored my view of so much. Am I worthwhile? What do I have to offer another? Is there anyone who will fight for me? Did I misjudge what I had? Did I believe in something when I shouldn’t have? Can I trust anyone? Should I trust anyone? Do I want to trust anyone?
Years ago, I was infatuated with someone who told me that I saw the world through rose-colored glasses, and I found that offensive. This past year, I’ve been looking at the world through this filter of sadness, pessimism and doubt. And it hasn’t been fun. I’d much rather be someone who sees the best in myself and others than someone who sees the worst. I’d much rather be the optimistic person I once was – the person I’ve seen glimpses of lately.
I loved getting in the water and seeing clearly the peace, calm and beauty of the water around me. Going forward, I’m swimming in the new pair each time I get in the pool. And as for my view of the world, I intend to wear my rose-colored glasses proudly. I’m sure I still have them somewhere.
Oh – and if you’re wondering how the timed 800-meter swim went? Well, it was awesome. I beat my last time by eleven seconds. And I know I’ve got even better in me…