As if often the case, I’m blown away by the difference in my mood between yesterday and today. Yesterday, I was a frenzied mess. I was anxious about so many things and unable to focus for much of the day. And today? Today, I feel peaceful.
Last night, after swimming in my anxiety all day long, I went home and had plans to decompress with a glass or maybe even a bottle of wine, but I ended up writing and reading and talking to the one person who held the ability to coax me away from the edge of the cliff. A phone message expressing concern for me, an email acknowledging the worries I had voiced, and then a phone call to assure me that the future is exciting – that trio from a trusted other helped me breathe again.
When I got off the phone, I realized that I had freaked out in part because I was telling myself old stories of professional challenges, rejections of previous work, and people I loved giving up on me. I wasn’t leaving open the possibility of a new ending this time around. And wouldn’t you know it? I’ve spent the last few months and even this weekend focusing on preparing myself to write a new story – a new ending. Apparently, I forgot momentarily what I’ve been working on in my life.
It was nice to have someone remind me. With that reminder, the anxiety lifted.