Like the rest of the world, I’ve been largely at home since the middle of March. I have been a little quiet in this space because everything I wrote felt wrong to me. This might feel wrong too, but I’m saying it anyway.
I have been happy at home.
The world is hard, I know. This is a really difficult season for so many. And that’s why it feels wrong to say this, but these last months at home have been…sweet.
I am fortunate that my work can be done from home. I never thought that possible, but I set up the firm laptop and connected it to a big monitor and brought a bunch of binders and rule books home from the office and just like that, I have a home office.
Not driving to Austin means I’m saving at least two hours each day. I’m able to get up and do my workouts and still be at my desk at a reasonable time each morning. Doing everything by Zoom means I can attend more meetings and not deal with travel time. Eating mostly at home means I’m eating healthier overall. The extra time means life is just a bit slower. And in all of this, I do pretty much everything in this space with a cat or two on my lap or nearby.
In March, I could not have anticipated still being here at the end of July. I do miss people. When I am able to connect with friends for a coffee on the porch or a bike ride, it feels incredibly special. And I long for the days when I can safely hug my mom and dad again. I’m not saying it is all easy. What I am saying is that this time has been good despite everything.
I love people and always considered myself to be an extrovert, but I’m realizing that simply is not true about me. (I also realized recently that I misdiagnosed myself on the Enneagram, but that is a post for another time.) I do love people. But I am thriving in this season of being home, largely alone or just with Dave. It has rejuvenated me in a way I did not expect. It has allowed me to really embrace my routines and take comfort in them. It also has allowed me to train more so I’m getting two and sometimes three workouts in a day. (And when I say three, one of them might be 20 or 30 minutes long. Nothing too crazy.) Being here has given me space to read and write and knit and sleep. I love my home, and I love being here most of my days.
With the passing months, I’m more and more aware that we could be in this space for months and months to come. I want to make good use of this time because it will quickly be December. I don’t want to look back and wonder what I did with the year. This year has the potential to be one big blur given the sameness of the days. But I think it also has the potential to be an incredible memory if I honor this time as the precious gift that it often feels like to me.
So as July wraps up, I’m stewing on the possibilities of the next five months, trying to figure out where to focus my energy, how to engage more with the people I love, and how the support the community that has become my home in a new way these last months. (I am also thinking on how to keep up the work-from-home arrangement after the office reopens, but that, too, is a post for another time.)
I did not expect this season to be good. I am aware of the challenges it brings for so many, and I feel some of those challenges myself. But I am focusing myself on finding joy in small things in the days ahead, emerging from this strange season full of appreciation and delight for those things that I once took for granted, and looking back on this time satisfied with how I spent it.
My best to you, friends. I miss you all.