As has been my situation lately, I woke up around the 2 o’clock hour and haven’t been able to get back to sleep. After an hour of not falling back asleep, I decided to get up and get my day started. I read a little. I cleaned up a little kitty puke. I did a little work. It’s been a good morning but for the lack of sleep part. Continue reading
This time last year, I was traveling to Africa to climb Kilimanjaro. It was my third international trip of 2013, so the wonder was a bit lost during the trip preparations. It took actually getting to the airport and getting a bag checked before I felt true excitement surrounding the trip. Before my mom and I sat down for a cup of coffee together before I entered security, I felt a sadness for leaving town on Dave’s very birthday. Even on the plane, I wrote, “This is my last big trip for a while. I want so much to be at home and to spend as much time with Dave as possible.” Now, a year later, I’m home with Dave. I got what I wanted, but I was wrong about one thing. Everything that’s happened with and around Dave during the last year has been the greatest trip I’ve ever taken. Continue reading
I’m holding my breath a bit. There’s one thing happening at work that could cause the next week to be complete and utter hell. Or it could turn into absolutely nothing, and I could have a delightful week. I’ll know more tomorrow and obviously have a strong preference as to which way this turns out. I want to enjoy turning 40 on Sunday, celebrating Christmas, and my final preparations for Africa. Keep your fingers crossed for me, will you? Continue reading
Just over ten days ago, I mentioned that my friend Erin had invited me to run 12 miles with her at a 10 something pace and that, much to my surprise and delight, I caught myself thinking that maybe I could actually do that. After one weekend of crazy weather, we finally managed to connect for the run this morning. Here’s how we did:
I read this morning that Brad Pitt is turning 50 in December. Huh? What? Mr. Sexy Abs and Dimples In A Cowboy Hat is turning 50?
I remember seeing Thelma & Louise in the Academy Building of Phillips Exeter Academy during my senior year of high school. I was taking a course called the Art of Protest taught by Christine Robinson, one of my favorite instructors, and watching the movie was our homework. (Yes, it was an incredible course for many reasons.) The movie had come out the year before and was new to me. I gushed when Brad Pitt came on screen wearing blue jeans, a cowboy hat, a gorgeous smile, and nothing else. What that man can do with a hair dryer still makes me blush.
To think that gorgeous young thing is turning 50…gives me hope.
Never once have I looked at a picture of Brad Pitt and thought, “Damn, that dude’s getting old.” Sometimes I’ve thought he looked strange or unnecessarily scraggly, but never, ever old. If anything, he’s more attractive now than he was in 1991. I love the lines on his face, the sometimes there ponytail, and the ever-changing facial hair. I love that he wears more clothes and sometimes has kids hanging on his back. I love that he’s grown a big family and become a humanitarian. He’s just stunning. And he’s 50.
I’ve been fretting the whole turning 40 thing since even before I turned 39. Why? Yes, I’m single and didn’t expect to be. But in every way, my life is a million times more meaningful than it was ten years ago. I have a job I enjoy that supports a wonderful lifestyle of freedom. I have another job writing, which feeds me in more ways than a paycheck ever could. I have a beautiful home in the country that I share with my beloved Bread and Butter. I have parents who love me more than life, and I have the most amazing friends – people I’m completely crazy about who support my goals and dreams. I get to travel the world racing. I’m faster now than I’ve ever been. I’m leaner now than I’ve ever been. And I was reminded this weekend that my story isn’t over. In fact, a new story is just beginning.
This weekend at the Storyline Conference, I started down a path of really looking at who I am, what I want, and what I have to offer the world. One part of the process is to do an inventory of personal experiences. That’s a hard thing because not everything I see in my past is beautiful. Some of it is downright heinous. But I was reminded this weekend of a little thing called redemption. I was reminded that I can look at the downturns in my life, identify something meaningful from each experience, and by doing so, turn that suffering into something useful and beautiful.
For the next couple of months, I’m going to continue the work I began in Nashville, and when I’m done, I hope to emerge with a plan for a new story for my life. I have some ideas of what some of the elements might be, but I’m excited to see what bigger, more clear picture comes out of the process. Whatever it is will be my gift to myself as I turn 40 in December just four days after Brad Pitt turns 50.
Then, one week after I turn 40, I will hop a plane to Africa to climb Kilimanjaro. When I get back, I will pick back up with my Ironman training and chase my dream of a fifth Ironman finish next June in Coeur d’Alene. I will continue to chase my dream of being published as an essayist. And I will go down the path of the plan that comes out of the Storyline Conference experience, whatever that path may be.
I have no doubt that, in December, when Brad Pitt turns 50 and I turn 40, I will look at him as a 50-year-old man and say, “You, Mr. Pitt, are way more sexy today than Mr. Sexy Abs and Dimples In A Cowboy Hat ever was.” And I will look at myself and say, “Hey, you in the mirror who enjoys traveling the world and pushing your limits and loving the people around you in big and beautiful ways, you are too.”