I went from a hundred to zero in a matter of seconds. Or that’s how it feels. I was working and scrambling and barely keeping up. Then everything stopped. And I stopped. And I haven’t been able to really get going again. I’m at work, but my mind is elsewhere. I’m getting things done, but nowhere near the volume I was producing over the last few months. It’s weird to still be sitting at my desk but suddenly be so disengaged. Continue reading
Last time I wrote, I was drowning in work. That was my life until today. Today, it all came to a much-welcomed standstill. When that happened, I spent about an hour organizing the piles of paper that had built up on my desk, I made my to-do list for tomorrow, and I came home. When we’re buried, we are buried. When I can pause, I pause. And today, I got to pause. Finally. Continue reading
I’m in a busy season at work that feels overwhelming. Yesterday, I was driving home from work and saw a blue FJ Cruiser like mine going through one of those new-fangled intersections that have cars oddly crossing oncoming traffic. (Don’t get me wrong – those intersections work, but the cars continue to spook me as they drive through.) When I saw the blue FJ, I immediately looked at the back to see if it was mine. I can tell based on the stickers on the back windshield. That’s totally normal, right? Except I was driving my car. I was in my blue FJ, so why was I even contemplating the possibility that this other car could be mine? I’m that tired, I guess.
It’s a weird thing to attend a funeral of a young person. Young is relative, of course. In this instance, young is not much older than I am. Young is the parent of not-yet-teenagers. Young is that weird place between being an adult and having a family of one’s own, but still very much being daughter and sister first or at least in equal force to wife and mom. It might have been a sad time in that space, and maybe it should have been under the circumstances. But what I heard and felt seemed full of certainty and faith. Continue reading
I’ve been trying to be consistent about exercising though I’m not formally training for anything right now. Standard for me is to get at least 30 minutes of running or walking in on the treadmill, if I do nothing else. This week, I’ve been walking more than running and doing so on an incline to make the workout harder. Even with that short effort, I end up drenched and pleased with myself for showing up and making it happen. Then today, it all almost went to hell.
Last week, I went to Vegas for three days for a conference. And wow. Vegas is not my place at all, but I had a wonderful trip. I went into the weekend not fully wanting to go and not knowing what to expect and was pleasantly surprised by the all the amazing things that came out of it. Continue reading
This week has been a roller coaster of moments when I’ve hated everything and moments where I’ve laughed and rested in peace. I’m realizing more and more just how little control we have of our circumstances and how much control we have of our attitude. Continue reading
It’s early in 2019, and already I’m feeling a tremendous amount of gratitude. I’ve had something going on that is causing me to get really dizzy. I fell once last month. I got on the ground to avoid falling again this month. And then I got horribly dizzy a third time just reading in bed. After those three incidents in a matter of weeks, I decided to see a doctor. (Fine, Dave insisted that I see a doctor. Details, details.) Continue reading
It’s been a strange month. Strange and sad and sweet and beautiful all at once. We lost Dave’s mom this month. Before she died, we were able to spend sweet time with her and some of her extended family. And since then, we celebrated her in a couple of gatherings that had her fingerprints all over them. And now, Dave’s immediate family is in Austin, having surprised us by flying in on Christmas night. We being old people were asleep when they arrived, so we didn’t experience the surprise until the day after Christmas, but their presence here has been sweet. It’s fun to be with them, particularly as we celebrate Dave’s birthday. I’m so grateful. Continue reading
So much of my effort this year has been about taking care of myself. I hope it hasn’t been selfish. I don’t think it has. I just feel like there is so much aggression out in the world that I have to be extra diligent about both preparing myself for it and shielding myself from it. For me, that’s meant really looking at what improves my life and what doesn’t. Continue reading